I Didn’t Know What I Signed Up For…

Red, black, and white.

These were the colors I had dreamed of for my wedding long before I understood what marriage truly was… or what it would require.

Like many of us, I had the dream.
The dress.
The setting.
The moment.

And of course… the man who would love me unconditionally and make everything fall into place.

One day, our king will come… right?

Delusional much? Maybe.
Because while marital bliss is possible…
it doesn’t happen the way we imagined.

We checked all the boxes:
• Dating — Check
• Engagement — Check
• Proposal — Check
• Wedding — Check

So… now what?

No one handed us instructions.
No one explained what it actually means to be a wife…
or how to walk through the days when love doesn’t feel easy.

No one told us what to do when the “good days” become fewer…
and the silence becomes louder than the love.

Where It Goes Left

Somewhere along the way, we believed what we were shown.

That love would be easy.
That the right person would always make us happy.
That “what’s meant to be” would somehow sustain itself.

Maybe we didn’t realize it at the time…
but a lot of what we believed about love wasn’t real.
It was learned. Picked up. Passed down.

Running on Empty

Many of us step into marriage expecting our spouse to fill spaces in us that were never theirs to fill.

The emptiness.
The wounds.
The years of what we carried in silence.

But no one really prepares you for what happens when those things don’t go away.

The Realization

Marriage doesn’t automatically heal loneliness.

Sometimes… it exposes it.
Sometimes it magnifies it.

And at some point…
you realize you don’t fully understand what you signed up for.

Not because you made the wrong choice.

But because you didn’t yet understand yourself.

If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.
And we’re just getting started.